RISE OF THE LOOT BOX!

Following on from the massive popularity and success of Loot Boxes in MMO video games such as Star Wars: Battlefront, WotC has announced that they will be coming to D&D! Loot Boxes, which are priced randomly, will be available from your local game store. Inside, customers will find a randomized selection of items, including inspiration dice, bonus levels, and automatic free completion of the current adventure.

Amongst the bonus items, you will find in a D&D Loot Box is a special Critical Hit Token. WotC lead developer Mark Morles said

“We’ve done a lot of study on this. We discovered that the two things players love most of all about D&D are collecting things and critical hits. So we’re combining the concept and allowing them to collect critical hits for a fair price”.

WotC’s Jeremiah Crowford has been answering “sage advice” rules questions on social media and in a semi-regular column for years now.

“I’ve always felt we don’t do enough”, Crowford observed. “As a modern role-playing games company, we should be even more accessible than we currently are. To that end, in a number of uncommon Loot Boxes, the cell phone numbers of Mark Morles, Christine Firkins, and myself. You will be able to call any of us at any time, day or night, with your rules questions.”

I managed to get hold of a partial list of items:

• Rare Miniatures. Included are the Nuclear Flumph, Intangible Weasel, Giant Giant, and Polka Dragon.
• Super Advantage Dice. These come in d4s, d6s, d8s, d10s, d12s, d20s, and d100s, and can be used in combat to add to attack rolls. Seasonal color schemes will ensure that players can only use their super advantage dice during the season for which they were produced.
• Critical Hit Tokens. Play these tokens during play to automatically turn a hit into a critical hit.
• D&D Designer Cell Phone Number. Use these numbers to ask for rules clarifications day or night.
• DM Overrides. These special items enable you to override a DM’s decision.
• Level Up. Your character instantly gains a level.
• Skip Adventure. Using this item enables you to immediately skip to the end of the current adventure.
• Edition Change. Morles explained this one — “We recognize that there are many fans of older and future editions of D&D, so we are offering those people the ability to switch the edition of the game for a session. As we all know, it’s illegal to play a previous edition of D&D, but these special licenses provide an exception to the usual rules.”
• New PC Classes & Races. Including the Chef, the Clown, the Pacifist, and the Snowman (the latter only available for the Summer season).

You can expect to see four Loot Box seasons per year, and you will need to use your rewards in the correct season.

~ April Fools